Even In Death
by MissVenusDoom
Summary: Jo's last moments. She heard and felt everything. Even the bomb, even in Death. But nobody told Jo what happens next. Heres a Jo/Dean goodbye.
1. One Last Goodbye

The look in his eyes. Pity, regrets.

I couldn't stand the way his eyes washed over me, taking in the view of me literally falling apart. Damn hellhounds. I'd never wanted _this_ to be the last he saw of me, my blood dripping between my fingers that actually held me together.

I could see the sadness and pain in his and Sam's eyes. Nobody was saying it, but we all knew the inevitable. I was dying and I knew it. Mom was fussing over me, as she would for the last time. And suddenly I felt bad. Not about dying, but that I'd always been so pissed at her for not letting me hunt, all I'd wanted to do was be like dad. And now I was. Killed in battle, just like him.

The pain was unbearable and never-faltering, it felt like hot nails had been shoved in my side, yanked out and slammed in again, tearing my flesh and pulling out what should never be outside the body. My shaking hands were all that stopped me from grabbing Dean. I was weak. Always had been. Too weak to prove myself to him, and now to weak to keep my eyes open. The rusty smell of my blood filled the air and immediately the smell shocked me awake. I couldn't hold on. Not long left.

The others were grabbing salt, iron nails..anything they could put in the bomb to kill those hounds that howled outside the warehouse door. Sam cringed at their howls and snarls, and I could see him eyeing Dean, recalling when his brother had been a victim of them. And now so was I.

Dean handed the finished product to Sam, who in turn handed the detonator to mom. She was staying, as she always had, with me. Til the very end. Dean lent foward and brushed his lips against mine. The rest of the world was lost to me, and when he pulled back I realised how weak I really felt, loss of blood wearing me down.

Mom sat down beside me and pulled me close, wincing as I groaned at the contact. The pain was overwhelming, Even I was suprised I hadn't passed out yet. I felt light and tired. I knew what was coming next, nothing in the world could have prepared me, or made me ready. Dean had just done the one thing I'd wanted for so long..and now..I was dying. The last words I spoke were uttered so low nobody heard, not even my mother, who held me close.

"I love you Dean"

Their footsteps faded away and the hellhounds outside smashed through the door, My head lolled against mom's shoulder, she didn't notice, waiting for the hounds to edge closer. The light, people say they see a light, its all true. The blinding pure white light blasted in my mind as I felt myself fade away, an instant later, even though I knew I was dead, somewhere even in death I heard the blast as my mother detonated the bomb, killing herself and incinerating our bodies in the process. No remains, it was like we'd never existed.

And then there was Dean. The last thought in my mind, even in Death and Afterlife.

The one person who made my life complete in the end.


	2. Dad?

Birds squawked above me, leaves seemed to whistle in the wind. I cautiously opened my eyes and found myself suprised. I lay in a feild, lush dark green grass surrounded me as I lay on the ground. How could I.. was this heaven? Had I rejoined earth somehow? Looking around me as I sat up, I watched trees sway in the wind, a lake to my left rippled as the water washed against the shore. Then I realised.

This was where my father would take me when he came home after hunting trips. Once his wounds were taken care of, he'd pack the car and take my mother and I down to the lake near the Roadhouse. He'd sit in the shade beneath an oak tree where we'd picnic, a rod in his hand as he calmly fished. Tears threatened to fall as I looked around and realised I really wasn't on Earth. This was something else. But it couldn't be Heaven, I always read and heard that Heaven was bright lights and harps playing. This felt real.

As I looked around I noticed a figure sitting under the oak tree beside the lake. Curiously wandering over, my steps felt light, and even though the oak tree was a hundred feet away, in just a few steps I was there. I guess time was different here. Wherever here was. The stranger chuckled as he faced me. I was beside him now, noticing how familiar the stranger seemed. I couldn't place the laugh, the smell or clothes he wore. But as he tipped his fishing hat up, the tears fell and I sunk to my knees.

"Dad?" One lone word was all that came out. I could barely breathe, could barely speak. "Yes sweetheart. It's me" Came his deep reply. Last time I saw my father, I was a child and the memories I seemed to remember of him, or made up in my own mind, did him no justice. He was broad shouldered and seemed tall, even as he sat. "Where am I? Where is this? _What_ is this?" I took in his features, the laugh lines around his eyes and mouth. He ran a hand through his short dirty blonde hair as he contemplated his answer. "Well, this is Heaven. Our shared heaven. This is my Heaven, Your Heaven and your mom's Heaven. We share one Heaven" He sat back against the tree and pulled me against him in an awkward hug. "I always thought this lake was Heaven. Didn't think it would be my Heaven one day though" Dad grinned "Your mom's on her way here too".

My dad, William Anthony Harvelle was killed on April 15th, 1986 at Devil's Gate Reservoir. John Winchester and my dad went there to turn the Devil's Gate into a devil's trap. John made a mistake and Dad died. John's mistake was scuffing the salt he had just laid on the ground with his foot by accident, so when something came out of the opening of the tunnel nothing stopped it.

John once described my dad's death to me, in an attempt to make me understand.

"It looked like smoke and sounded like a million flies. Bill looked down from the stars just in time for it to flow right into him. He started jerking like a condemned man in the electric chair, and two voices were coming out of his mouth. One was the thing, the hellspawn. I don't know what language it was speaking, but its voice was horrible. It was the sound cancer would make if it could talk. And Bill, he kept saying over and over again, John, shoot me, shoot me, John. So I did. It was the worse mistake I ever made. It was careless and stupid and it got a good man killed. A husband and father, and a damned good hunter, and I don't know how I'm going to explain this to Ellen. And Jo, poor Jo. She's four years old. How am I doing to tell her? I can't just let Ellen do it. I'm responsible. It was over in less than a minute, Bill Harvelle dead and me standing there with a gun in my hand listening to the echo of the gunshots in the hills and the echo of the awful hellspawn voice in my head."

I was still in pigtails when my dad died, but I remember him coming home from a hunt. He'd burst through that door like, like Steve McQueen or something. And he'd sweep me up in his arms, and I'd breathe in that old leather jacket of his. And my mom, who was sour and pissed from the minute he left, she started smiling again. And we were a family.

John's story of my dad's death was the only consolement I had over his death, and now here he was. Free from Hellspawn and he was happy, calm. At peace.

Instantly after Dad stated Mom was on her way, I felt a weight in my pocket. Curiously I pulled it out, It was my hunting knife, small but effective. It had belonged to my Dad, engraved with W.A.H. I showed it to Dad, he gave me a warm smile "I always knew you'd follow in my footsteps. And I'm proud of you"

**AN: Next chapter is going to be her mom in Heaven. **


	3. Paradise

The sky above me seemed earth-like, it was a baby blue, cloudless and stretching on forever. Dad stood and pulled me against him. Guess I'd changed since last time we spoke. And yet I suddenly felt like he never left. Like he'd been down at the lake this entire time, and here we were chatting casually. The sound of footsteps brushing through the relatively long grass of the feild behind us awoke me from my thoughts. Dad was smiling behind me, a look of wonder and awe on his face..and something else. I turned around and saw my mother walking calmly over to us, dressed in the clothes she'd died in. So was I, as I just noticed. Only there was no blood from my wounds on either of our clothes. When I glanced back at Dad I realised what the other emotion on his face was. Love.

He'd never stopped loving Mom, even in Death he seemed as infatuated with her as I'd remembered him to be. They'd been like two teenagers in love from what I remember, and I was proud to call them my parents. And overjoyed at being able to see them reunited. "Bill?" Mom breathed. She reached out and touched his face as she came to a halt in front of us. Her delicate fingers cupping his cheek. "It's really you" She sighed, tears slipping down her cheeks. For once, my mother didn't wipe away her tears. She let them fall as she gazed into the eyes of her beloved husband.

I stepped away, giving them a moment alone. Death seemed like life almost. The memories were all there.. everything felt real and even my parents got to be together again. I smiled to myself. This really was incredible. I almost didn't want to think about what had been my life. But I caught myself sighing, thinking of Dean and Sam and Bobby, as they fought against the creatures I would never again face.

Mom and Dad broke apart from their kiss I didn't notice and she turned to me, smiling. "Did you feel the bomb?" She asked quietly, She wanted to know if I was in pain in the end. "Yes" I muttered, Mom cringed and I knew she felt the blast too, tearing and exploding, the iron nails from the bomb shooting out like a hundred bullets. We both felt it all. Death.

"Dad told me we're in Heaven. I don't care about that, I'm just glad I'm with my family"

"Joanna Beth" Mom used my name, though for once it wasn't while she was scolding me. "We're missing someone you know" I shook my head "You, Me and Dad" Mom let out a slightly frustrated sigh. "I found Ash on my way here. Or rather, he found me. We can go into his heaven, it's the Roadhouse suprisingly" She grinned and leaned into Dad. Together we walked through into Ash's Heaven. A shack in the middle of a forest. "It doesn't look like the Roadhouse, Mom" She laughed, for the first time in years. "Go inside" Dad held the door open for me, the inside of the shack was the Roadhouse.

Ash stood behind the bar, chugging back a beer in the strange way he did, he choked as he looked up "Jo? hey there" He flipped his mullet over his shoulder, brushing the long hair away. This place was incredible..

We stayed together in the Roadhouse for a long time, it was constantly stocked with beer and it felt like home, especially with Dad and Ash playing Darts, Led Zepplin playing on the jukebox, Mom serving drinks, and me sitting back looking around me. It felt like home. This was Heaven.

Heaven is eternity. No fear, No Pain, No Death. Just Paradise, and waiting for those who aren't there yet.


	4. Her Last Goodbye To Him

**I've decided that if you review a one my stories, you get a special mention in the fic you reviewed. Sound fair? I think so. So here goes. Thanks to:**

**-Mar98  
>-Fillisius B.<br>-K. Falson  
><em>Enjoy, If you like this, you know where the button is :)<em>**

Dean sat at Bobby's kitchen table, a half-empty bottle of whiskey in hand. Jo had left a gaping hole in a part of his heart he hadn't even known existed. He thought back to her last moments, their kiss... if only he'd said everything he'd meant to, long before their suicide mission. It was too late, he knew that..and now he'd only just realised that the perky, innocent and eager blonde hunter would never hold a shotgun against his back, or get a soppy love song stuck in his head again. Dean took another swig of whiskey and swallowed with a grunt. Typical him, always hiding emotions and never showing them til it was well and truly too late.

_Enough of this_ he thought. Dean got up and headed out to his impala, one destination in mind. The little house Jo and Ellen had been living in after the Roadhouse burnt down, just down the road from where their bar once stood. When he got there, it took all his nerve to get out the car. Dean headed up the gravel driveway and botted the door in, it wasn't like the residents would be coming home.

Dust had gathered in a layer over everything in the eerily cold and quiet home. Dean picked up a jacket from the back of a dining room chair, a leather one he recognised as Jo's. He held it to him and noticed how much it smelt like her. It bought tears to his eyes, so he slung it back over the seat. He walked on throught the kitchen and headed to the lounge. The smell of Jo's insense still hung in the air, it'd only been two days since her death but the smell of her black opium insense that she'd even lit up in the Roadhouse, clung to the sofa, curtains and the carpet.

Dean was about to head back out the door when he noticed a white slip of paper on the dark wooden coffee table. Curiously, he picked it up and began to read.

_Dear Dean._

_If you're reading this then I probably did something reckless and stupid on the case. So, if your reading this.._

_we both know what it means. I died. I hope I went out with a bang, not an accident crossing the street or falling down a manhole._

_There's so many things I wish I could've told you, I was stupid and didn't have the guts to admit how I felt about you.._

_There are a few things I want you to have, they're in my room, in a box under my bed. _

_It's only my dad's journals from his hunts, a few hundred dollars I saved up, some photos of you me and Sam and Ash's watch. _

_Just know, wherever I am, I'm watching over you. _

_I love you, always._

_Jo._

There was no doubt in Dean's mind that Jo, his angel, had gone to Heaven..Dean folded the letter up and put it in his pocket, headed into Jo's room and found the shoebox under her bed. He lifted the lid and smiled at the contents before walking back through the house and jumping in the impala. He placed the box on the passengers seat. One line from Jo's letter caused him to smile as he drove away from Jo's house, back to Bobby's.

_**Just know, wherever I am, I'm watching over you..**_


End file.
